She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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