I can't breathe out the right side of my face
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
