3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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