some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
