wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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