my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
