i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
