All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
this hospital has no fireball
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
