I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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