just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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