How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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