He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
