So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
