all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
