She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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