You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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