well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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