I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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