it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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