I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i can't believe i had my finger in that
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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