SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
