if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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