So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
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We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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