But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
