I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
