Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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