It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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