4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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