I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
