Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
