his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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