Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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