you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
