So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You are the jesus of drinking
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
