he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
