I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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