Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
