But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
