Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So much rum. So many feels.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
