i barfeds in our rink
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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