So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
