I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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