I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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