I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
