I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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