so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
