It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
His hands were made for my vagina.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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