Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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