so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
