I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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