I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
