Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
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Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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