I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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