I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
