hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
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I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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