Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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