u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
