I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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