wakey wakey hands off snakey
too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
