fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
